SAFETY-CLUTCH, n.  A mechanical device acting automatically to prevent
the fall of an elevator, or cage, in case of an accident to the
hoisting apparatus.

    Once I seen a human ruin
        In an elevator-well,
    And his members was bestrewin'
        All the place where he had fell.

    And I says, apostrophisin'
        That uncommon woful wreck:
    "Your position's so surprisin'
        That I tremble for your neck!"

    Then that ruin, smilin' sadly
        And impressive, up and spoke:
    "Well, I wouldn't tremble badly,
        For it's been a fortnight broke."

    Then, for further comprehension
        Of his attitude, he begs
    I will focus my attention
        On his various arms and legs --

    How they all are contumacious;
        Where they each, respective, lie;
    How one trotter proves ungracious,
        T'other one an _alibi_.

    These particulars is mentioned
        For to show his dismal state,
    Which I wasn't first intentioned
        To specifical relate.

    None is worser to be dreaded
        That I ever have heard tell
    Than the gent's who there was spreaded
        In that elevator-well.

    Now this tale is allegoric --
        It is figurative all,
    For the well is metaphoric
        And the feller didn't fall.

    I opine it isn't moral
        For a writer-man to cheat,
    And despise to wear a laurel
        As was gotten by deceit.

    For 'tis Politics intended
        By the elevator, mind,
    It will boost a person splendid
        If his talent is the kind.

    Col. Bryan had the talent
        (For the busted man is him)
    And it shot him up right gallant
        Till his head begun to swim.

    Then the rope it broke above him
        And he painful come to earth
    Where there's nobody to love him
        For his detrimented worth.

    Though he's livin' none would know him,
        Or at leastwise not as such.
    Moral of this woful poem:
        Frequent oil your safety-clutch.
                                                           Porfer Poog